Rejuvination

This weekend has been great. It has helped me to get away from reality and rejuvenate myself in ways that are difficult to explain; but I will try.

I think I know part of the reason that I felt unhappy and lonely some of the time. And as selfish as it is to admit, I really think it is because my best friend, hf, lives in Milwaukee now and I do not get to see her very often. I know that I have friends that live much closer and who would do anything for me, as I would them, but it is still not the same.

I know that it is no ones fault and that these are things in life that happen, but even after 11 years of not being military, I am still not used to having people leave me. I was always the one who left…We got a transfer, I said my good byes, we left and I kept in touch with friends (or tried to). I preferred it that way; I felt like I had the control, and I liked it that way. Hf and I both currently do as much as we can to stay connected, from weekly thirty or more minute phone calls to weekend (and sometimes random weekday) visits that we try to make happen regularly. It isn’t until a really good talk or visit that I realize exactly how close I have grown to be with her. I haven’t had a best friend in a long time that can just look at me and tell that something is bothering me and then also know how to go about bringing it up in a way that will help me the most. A lot of people do not realize that we are not related and that is very similar to how we both view our bond and friendship. I know that this all sounds incredibly selfish but it is just something that I needed to write down to realize for myself and be able to process what is happening to me. It is a part of me learning more about who I am and what that really means to me.

Thanks for being there are understanding and helping me to figure out so much about who I am over the past few years and thank you in advance for being there for the next lot of years to help me through things I will get myself into and for everything that will happen in the journey of life.

Note of caution - I do not mean to make anyone else feel less valuable in my life. Please know that you are all important to me as well and are just as special and have a place in my heart as well.